Indescribable

At youth group tonight, we watched a video of Louie Giglio speaking entitled "Indescribable." Louie is the founder and leader of the Passion movement that hosts conferences/worship events for young adults and is well-known for their worship CDs featuring the likes of Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Matt Redman and Steve Fee. This particular talk borrows its title from a Chris Tomlin song of the same name.

In it, Louie desribes the vastness of the universe, talking in terms of light years and billions of stars in a galaxy. He effectively uses pictures of various celestial bodies to help convey his message. One of the images is of the earth, taken from Voyager about 20 years ago, at very long distance so that the earth looks like a tiny speck of dust in a stream of sunlight. It was definitely a powerful image of how small we are in comparison to the hugeness of the universe.

One of my favorite things that he said was if the reason that God created the universe was to make our night sky look pretty and to have a place for the earth to be, then God did it too big - something much smaller would have sufficed. But if God created the universe, as the psalms tell us, to declare the glory of God, then it is probably just about the right size!

At the end of his talk, we were reminded that God, the creator of this "ginormous" universe, took on human flesh in the person of Jesus Christ and gave his life because of God's great love for us. That, my friends, is a love that is indeed indescribable!

Facing the Giants

We had a Family Movie Night this evening at church. It was a lot of fun, and really good to get together with no real agenda or business to do and simply enjoy some entertainment together. I think we definitely need more of that!

We watched the movie Facing the Giants, which was put together by Sherwood Pictures, who are the same folks who did Fireproof and Flywheel. It is basically a ministry out of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, GA. To be honest, the film was not on par technically with movies from bigger studios: the acting, directing, producing, writing, etc. But, it wasn't awful. In fact, it was good enough that by the end of the movie, it didn't really bother me anymore.

But there were some things about the movie that did bother me. Actually, I suppose it is just one thing when you boil it down. I thought the film portrayed a really poor theology and view of how God works in the world. Now, everyone I talked to after the viewing really enjoyed the movie, so I'm sure not everyone will agree with me, but I do feel like I should put what I thought about it out there.

The movie centers on the character Grant Taylor, who is a high school football coach. Everything is going badly for Grant - his team is not very good, his players are transfering to other schools, his car keeps breaking down, his house needs work done, and his wife has been unable to conceive a child after four years of trying. Grant comes to a breaking point where he blames himself for all of these failings and then prays to God asking for help. God responds and everything changes: his team starts winning, revival breaks out at the school, someone gives him a brand new truck, his house is in good shape, and in the end his wife gets pregnant.

It was a touching, heart-warming, and even inspiring story. I'll be honest, I got choked up a couple of times (I mean, if I can't make it through Rudy without crying, I didn't have much of a chance here). But the message of the movie and the underlying theological assumptions really do trouble me. The movie basically says that if you trust in God and do all that you do to glorify God, then God will bless you and take away your troubles. And I think there are a lot of people out there who believe that and a lot of pastors out there who preach that. But it's simply not true.

I have seen people with great faith and trust in God endure horrible tragedies. Others who just can't seem to catch a break. Many who live in poverty and struggle every day. Some who are persecuted for their faith. I could go on and on, and I think anyone reading this could as well. Faith in God simply does not equate with success in life. It is not true in our experiences, and it certainly isn't true in Scripture. Jesus tells us that we must take up our cross and follow after him - not that we will be rewarded with success. He tells us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first, that the greatest among us must become servants. Looking at Jesus' example, I sometimes wonder why any of us would want to follow after him - he was not welcome in his hometown, he had no place to lay his head, the people in power plotted against him, the crowds demanded much of him, and his ministry and teaching ultimately led to his suffering and death sentence. Quite a difference picture than what the movie paints!

Now, certainly, some people who follow Christ do find success in this life. And some people who don't follow Christ also find success in this life. The Lord makes the sun to shine upon the just and the unjust. Part of what the theology in the movie does, though, is convince us that if we are not successful in life, then that means our faith is not strong enough. And this is just plain wrong, unhealthy, unscriptural, and all around bad! The way God works in the world is not some simplistic transaction that goes something like this: the more you love, serve, and have faith in God, the more good stuff God does for you. One prayer does not equal one blessing. One good deed does not equal one little bit more of success. God's math is much different than ours.

In the end, I think the theology of Facing the Giants that is very popular among Christians today is actually quite harmful. It gives Christians a poor understanding of who God is and sets us up to have unrealistic expectations about what it means to follow Jesus Christ. And it turns non-Christians who have any sense about how complicated and complex life can be away from our faith because it is way too simplistic and not at all true to life. But it is easy and sounds nice. May we have the courage to be real rather than easy and nice.

Percy Jackson

Nancy and I were able to go on a date tonight thanks to Ms. Mike's volunteering to hang out with Becca for the evening. We had a wonderful night together going out to eat, seeing a movie, and even getting dessert afterwards. It was so nice to have a few hours to ourselves and to be able to spend some "couple time" together.

We saw Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The youth group had gone to see it a couple of Sundays ago and everyone I talked to said it was good, so we thought we would give it a shot. We both enjoyed it. Now, it won't win any Academy Awards for acting, directing, or writing, but it was a fun film.

The basic premise is that Percy Jackson, a present-day teenager, is the son of Poseidon, the god of the sea, and a human mother, making him a demi-god. He is not alone as a demi-god, but there are many others in the world along with various mythical creatures. Someone has stolen the lightning from Zeus, and Percy is accused, so he sets out on a quest to get to the bottom of the mystery and save his kidnapped mother and the world in the process.

One of the elements of ancient Greek and Roman mythology that gets highlighted in the film is the selfish and petty nature of the gods. They get angry and fight with one another not caring what consequences this may bring for the world, they accuse others of wrongdoing, they make rules to spite one another, and they have multiple intimate relationships and neglect their children. In other words, they act very human.

I am struck by the different picture that the Bible paints of God. Sure, there are times when God acts much like we would in the Bible, but there are also many times where it is clear that being God sets God apart from human selfishness and fallenness. God is defined by love, mercy, justice, righteousness, and grace. How many of us truly embody those virtues? I know I don't, but I am thankful that I worship and serve a God who does - a God who isn't as much like me as the gods and goddesses of ancient mythology were.

The Big 3-0

Today is my 30th birthday. Leading up to today, I thought that I would feel old and maybe even freak out a little bit, but neither has happened. People will sometimes point to birthdays as significant life-markers, and up until now, most of those milestones have been positive. At 13, you are a teenager. At 16, you can get your license. At 18, you can vote. At 21, you can drink (which didn't really impact me, but whatever). At 25, your car insurance premium decreases. But, from now until retirement age, birthdays aren't such positive markers.

As I reflected more on this, I've decided that events in my life are better markers that birthdays. Two of the most significant events in my life happened in my twenties: marrying Nancy and becoming a father to Becca. I am sure, though, that other wonderful things will happen in thirties.

I guess part of the deal with turning 30 is not so much that you are old, but it's that you aren't young any more. There is obviously some debate as to when "middle age" begins, but I would guess a lot of people point to age 30. For me, though, I think it really began when Becca was born. Life really did change for me then. The innocence, freedom, and frivolity of youth gave way to responsibility. And that's not a bad thing, please don't hear me as saying it is bad. It's just different. So, I don't think I left youth behind when I turned 30 today, I left it behind awhile ago when Becca was born (and much longer ago if you use hair loss as your guide).

But turning 30 is significant to me in one other way. Jesus was 30 when he began his ministry. That was the age that Jewish men in the first century were considered to be full adults, when they would leave behind their apprenticeships and make a life for themselves. And so it was with Jesus. And within a very short amount of time, he was spreading the good news of the reign of God, feeding thousands of people, doing miraculous healings, and calling and equipping disciples who would continue his mission and ministry after he was gone - people who were so dedicated that most of them would lose their lives because of it.

And so I am left wondering, What am I doing now that I am thirty? I know I'm not Jesus, but I am called to imitate and emulate him. Am I really having an impact in the world for Jesus' sake? Or, perhaps a better way to phrase it, is God using me to bear good fruit?

Today, I am thirty years old. May God use me for the work of the Gospel.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for my sweet wife Nancy, who has taken care of Becca all day while I have been sick, and even went to the church and did some cleaning and sorting in the nursery with Julie. What a fantastic lady - I am so blessed to be married to her!

And I am thankful for physicians who can identify sinus infections and write prescriptions for medicines that will heal. When you think about it, that is a pretty amazing thing!

And I am thankful right now for chicken nuggets, because Becca is actually eating them for dinner! Our little girl has come a long way with her feeding, especially in the last few weeks with feeding therapy. She now loves to chow down on fresh strawberries and chicken nuggets!

And I am thankful for capable and competent leaders in our church, who can carry out meetings that will push our ministry forward when I am not feeling well enough to attend. Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings of this life.

Psalm 107:1 - O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever.

Sick

I feel bleh, which is different than blah. Blah is fairly neutral - not good but not awful. But I feel bleh...not good. I had a fever of 100.6 earlier this afternoon before I took some Tylenol and a nap. I feel achy and have the chills. I am tired and lethargic, but still have an appetite. I've got a little bit of drainage, but nothing major. No cough, really - Becca has a cough but I don't. Any idea what I have? I never did get around to getting my flu shot...may have been a big mistake!

I really dislike being sick. It's actually one of my least favorite things in the world. And I feel a little guilty about it, because I know that there are many people, in the world that are much sicker than I am. People whose illness is life-threatening, debilitating, and/or extremely painful. And I hate it for those people, I really do. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but as I am not feeling 100%, there's a good chance it might be coming across that way. I apologize for that.

Anyways, being sick. No fun at all. It's funny how when I am sick, it pretty much takes over my life. I'm not really able to think about other things, focus, or accomplish much. All I can do is be sick. And that stinks. John Wesley often used imagery of illness for sin, and I think the metaphor holds true here. When we are stuck in sin, it pretty much consumes our life, especially certain kinds of sin. So I pray for the Great Physician to bring healing into my life and yours - both for our physical sicknesses, but even more importantly for our spiritual disease.

Psalm 44

The evening psalm from the Daily Office for today is Psalm 44. You can read it by clicking here. The psalm begins by recalling some of the amazing things that God has done in the past, that the author was told about by his ancestors. The psalmist then laments his present circumstances, declaring in verse 15, "All day long my disgrace is before me and shame has covered my face." Sounds pretty bleak to me. In the end, the cry goes up for God to awaken and come to their rescue.

As I reflected on this psalm, it made me think of our circumstances at Bethpage UMC. Many from the congregation have been quick to think back on days with a previous beloved pastor with great fondness and describe them in idyllic fashion. Laments were offered about the recent past and the present, sometimes suggesting that things should just go back to the way they were. And many of these folks have, sadly, left the church.

I wonder if they missed the last step from this psalm: to cry out for help from God and to wait for it. Because, you know what, help has come to us. There is a new energy, passion, and Spirit at Bethpage UMC. God is on the move, and it is exciting to be part of it. Our worship services have been enlivened, we have some small groups going for Lent that are studying about spiritual gifts, and the rebirth of WOW is just around the corner. God has indeed heard the cry and the prayer of those who have stood firm and stayed with the church through some difficult times. I give thanks for those who would not be swayed by circumstances but remained even though it would have probably been easier to leave. And I believe God is rewarding their faithfulness.

Emotions

I am not an overly emotional person. I'm usually on a pretty even keel. Nancy tells me I am not as in touch with my emotions as I should be. Perhaps she is right. I don't really know.

Today, though, was a different story. At the 11:00 worship service, several members of the Graves family were in attendance. I was able to hold myself together well when Debbie passed away on Tuesday, through the meetings, visitation, funeral, and graveside service, but not in worship today. Jana, our pianist, reminded us that God is always watching over us and then played and sang "His Eye is on the Sparrow." After our opening hymn, we went into our prayer time where we share the joys and concerns on our hearts with one another. Steve thanked everyone for the care and support his family has received. We had a few other concerns that were shared, and then we sang our Call to Prayer together: "On Eagles' Wings."

My eyes began to well up during the song, and so I stopped singing for a moment. I was able to take a few deep breaths and compose myself long enough to begin the pastoral prayer. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I know I admitted that sometimes words are not enough to express what we are feeling. I thanked God for God's faithfulness to the Graves family and lifted up the other concerns that were shared. All the while, I was fighting back tears and trying to hold myself together. Finally, I concluded the prayer and started us off on the Lord's Prayer, but about the time we got to, "Give us this day, our daily bread," I broke down and started to cry.

And an amazing thing happened. The congregation continued praying without my speaking and leading, and they lifted me up by doing so. They, as a collective body, carried on when I couldn't anymore. What a powerful moment for me, and I pray for them as well. I felt extremely vulnerable, but that vulnerability was met with love, kindness, and compassion. I was reminded today of part of what it means to be the church - and what a blessing it was!

Tired

It has been a tiring week...physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I've had a lot of things to do this week that I don't normally have. An extra worship service on Ash Wednesday, getting things together for the Lent small groups that start tomorrow, trying to hire a new person in the nursery at church, and a death in the congregation and all that goes with it.

Usually, I am able to find some time during the week to rest. Most weeks, I have either Friday or Saturday off from church responsibilities - sometimes both days. Plus I find little opportunities during the week to relax, usually in the evening with Nancy but also here and there. This week, though, I worked all day on Friday and a good bit of the day today. I wasn't able to find nearly as many times during the week to take a break and rest.

In the Christian community, we have a word for this idea of taking a break and resting: sabbath. Different branches of the Christian family tree have varied views and practices of sabbath, but I think it is part of what all of believe we should be doing. It is one of the Ten Commandments, after all!

This week, I have once again been reminded of the importance of this practice and discipline. I am worn out, and I pray that I have enough in me for worship tomorrow morning. Afterwards, I think I may take a nap! Be sure to take the time you need to rest and be renewed.

My Day

Well, this is probably why I haven't blogged in the past. Today is my third day of blogging, and I don't really feel like I have anything to write. So, maybe I'll just write a little bit about my day...

I woke up and took care of Becca, allowing Nancy to sleep in a little. Nancy is such a great mom to Becca and spends a huge amount of time caring for her. I'm glad I was able to give her a little break, even if it was very small. Nancy and Becca went to Becca's two therapies in Hendersonville and I got ready for the day and headed to church. Fridays are typically my day off, but this week has been very busy with Ash Wednesday and a funeral to plan, so I knew I would need to work some today. I had hoped to finish my sermon this morning, stop by the funeral home for a bit early in the afternoon and maybe even visit one of our homebound members before coming home mid-afternoon and not putting in a full day.

Well, that didn't work out so much. I spent the morning doing lots of stuff around the office - e-mails, phone calls, getting things ready for meetings, making copies for some interviews, working through some financial things with our administrative assistant, and other things that I am forgetting. All of a sudden, it was well after noon, I hadn't even started on the sermon, and my tummy was grumbling. I headed home for a quick lunch and then back to the church.

Did some more things around the office, finished the sermon, put together the PowerPoint for Sunday, made a few more phone calls, and met with a church member. Dinnertime, but I still hadn't made it to the funeral home. So, I went to the funeral home for a little while and finally got home a little before 7:00. Threw some steaks on the grill, had a nice dinner with Nancy and Becca (she is finally starting to eat better - yay!), did bedtime with Becca, cleaned the house some, paid the bills, and then watched an episode of Psych with Nancy.

A pretty full day, to say the least. As I look back on it now, it was a pretty good day. I got several things accomplished, made meaningful connections with some people, and spent at least a little bit of quality time with my family.

I probably don't slow down and reflect on my day enough. Honestly, I can't really remember that last time I did like I am right now. Pausing and looking back over the day makes me thankful for all the good things that happened today...so many blessings. As a general rule, I'm not as grateful as I should be. I tend to take things for granted. Maybe part of what this exercise for Lent will do in my life is to cause me to cultivate the virtue of gratitude. We can hope!

So, to everyone out there who has every done anything good or nice for me and I didn't acknowledge it, "Thank you!" I'll try to pay more attention in the future. In fact, I think I'll write a thank-you note tonight to someone who deserves it. Good night, and be sure to count your blessings :)

Sin and Suffering

In our Disciple Bible Study that meets on Thursday evenings at the church, we have been making our way through the Bible since the beginning of the last fall. This past week, we read the first half of the John's Gospel. As I read through the passages and texts this week, I couldn't help but be struck by the story of a man who was born blind in chapter 9. We are told that Jesus is walking along and comes across this man who has never been able to see. His disciples pose a question to Jesus, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that we was born blind?"

To us with our advances in technology and understanding of biology and medicine, this may seem an odd question, but in Jesus' day it was common practice and thinking to attribute physical ailments, natural disasters, and other tragedies and realities to the result of our sin and God's action in judgment. Pat Robertson aside, most of us today don't think that way, at least most of the time. We see someone who is sick, and we look for the germ or mutation that caused it. We look at a natural disaster and rightly see weather systems or the shifting of techtonic plates as the culprit. But yet, I think there is still this underlying suspicion in many of us that God is somehow to blame for at least some of the bad things that happen in the world.

This is especially true when tragedy comes knocking at our own door or at the door of a loved one. We are quick to get angry with God because we are out of work. We cannot understand why God would not provide healing when we prayed for it. We blame God for a death or an accident. We ask the questions, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God allow this to happen?" All too often, someone will respond that it is all part of God's plan, even if we can't see why or understand it.

One of our church members passed away this week from cancer. She was only 51...far too young. I never heard her or any of her family ask these sorts of questions aloud, but I would imagine that they, like nearly all of us would, have asked them to themselves. But I have heard people say things along the lines of, "It was just her time" or "It's all part of God's plan."

I must confess, I cringe every time I hear something like that. I really don't think it was God's plan for Debbie to get sick, for cells in her body to change and begin taking away her life rather than sustaining it. In the same way, I don't think it was God's will for an earthquake to kill thousands in Haiti or a hurricane to destroy the lives of so many on the Gulf Coast. God doesn't desire our suffering or our death. God wants us to love God and to love one another.

So, in the end, when we are faced with a tragedy of any sort, I don't think we should ask, "Why did this happen?" Instead, we should ask, "How will I respond?" In the example from John 9, Jesus responds by healing the man. Many have responded to the earthquake in Haiti by sending money or preparing kits to be sent. Many have gone on trips to the Gulf Coast to help rebuild. Our church has responded to Debbie's death by preparing meals, sending card and flowers, attending the visitation, expressing our sorrow, and praying for Steve and his entire family. Each tragedy that we encounter is an opportunity to show and share concern and compassion. These tragedies don't occur for that reason, mind you, but as a person of faith my first reaction and response should always be to love.

Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the season of Lent in the Christian calendar. Lent is a period of 40 days (excluding Sundays) leading up to Easter Sunday in which people of faith are invited to seek forgiveness and repentance and to prepare themselves through various means (usually some sort of spritual discipline) to celebrate the Resurrection. For Lent 2010, I have decided to take on the discipline of spiritual blogging - whatever that means - in the hopes that I will grow in the love and knowledge of God and that I might share part of my journey with anyone who cares to read this blog.

We held our Ash Wednesday service this evening at Bethpage United Methodist Church. We have a regular Wednesday evening program (which is actually going on hiatus until after Easter and being revamped) that averages 30-40 per week. I was hopeful that we would have more than that in attendance this evening for a special service, but, although I didn't count, I'm pretty sure we actually had less. Then again, I probably shouldn't be surprised given the nature of the service. It is a pretty somber service in which we are reminded of our mortality and sinfulness - not the most fun of topics! Near the end of the service, we receive the sign of the cross on our forehead (or hand, if you so choose) in ashes.

I preached on a text from the Old Testament book of Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord: ²“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ³‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ⁴‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you declare to me.’ ⁵I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; ⁶therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

After telling a really bad joke, I recounted the story of Job. The one that is familiar to most who have spent much time in the church - Job is a righteous and wealthy man whom God allows to endure terrible loss and suffering, only to be restored to his former glory in the end. What we often leave out in the story of Job is the struggle that he and his "friends" have in trying to understand why this suffering was happening. Job even goes so far as to challenge God, seeking to plead his case before God. God obliges by telling Job to "gird up your loins like a man" and proceeding to tell Job quite eloquently and even sarcastically that God created the universe and orders the world. Job, of course, when confronted with this reality must back down from his claims of superiority and righteousness and responds with the above passage.

Job must repent. So must we. And so must I.

I must repent. I must turn away from the things in life that draw me away from God. I must rethink who I am in relationship to who God is. I must be a different person. I don't know what that means for you, specifically. I'm not even sure what that means for me right now in particular. Perhaps that is part of the purpose of this season of Lent: to allow God to reveal to me how I need to change. I know that at least part of it for me is that I need to live a more disciplined life. So, I am starting a blog and making a commitment to post every day from now until Easter. May God do a good work in me - and in you - this Holy Lent.